


I'll Show You Where Your Shoe Fits

by thereynoldspamphlet



Series: Hamilton GSA Mess [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:52:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5590393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereynoldspamphlet/pseuds/thereynoldspamphlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Burr's GSA meeting is slightly more hectic than usual with the return of one Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton's insatiable need to argue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Show You Where Your Shoe Fits

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction I've ever written. I wrote it on a plane to NYC to see Hamilton, and it was all really exciting! I definitely didn't nail character voice, and the introduction is awkward, but practice makes perfect. Hope you enjoy :)

“Welcome to today’s GSA meeting” Aaron Burr greeted, smiling to all in the room with only a somewhat forced grin. After clapping his hands, he proceeded to add on “We have a new member here today, one who just got back from France.” 

Several groans of displeasure were heard from the Schuylers of the chair circle while Hamilton was being forcefully held back from starting a fight already. Burr was as unwilling as ever to address the conflict because he would need to share a stance on the matter to fix it, so he simply gritted his teeth and rubbed his temple. 

After clearing his throat, he proceeded, “Thomas Jefferson, would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Hello- or as they say in France: Bonjour!” Whispers of _please let me at him_ and _literally everyone knows that you pretencious francophile_ could be heard from the gay trio at the other end of the ring of plastic chairs. After another polite clearing of the throat from Burr the chatter faded out, mostly by lack of content than Burr's actual actions. 

Per usual, Jefferson picked up the slack in repulsive things to be said by opening his mouth once more. "I've decided to come out of the closet. I'm an asexual. More specifically a demi-heteroromantic asexual. I know you will welcome me into the LGBTQIAPP+ community; or as I prefer to call it, the queer community." A few awkward claps filled the room.

"Jefferson, shut up!" Hamilton interrupts, while Laurens gives him a high five and Burr cringes at the obvious argument about to break out in his precious conflict-free meeting before immediately covering it up, like he does with anything that could be considered an opinion. "First, how can you trivialise the word queer? Its actually a slur, Jefferson, and one that straight people can't use? Second-"

Jefferson cuts him off, opening with a condescending sigh and then slowly talking as if the recipient were a child. "I'm not straight. I'm asexual you uneducated-"

Hamilton, equally rude in arguments and unable to let something go, continued what could be an endless cycle of interruptions with "I'M uneducated when you don't get that you can be straight and asexual! Straight is who you are attracted to, and asexual is how you are attracted to them, you dumb fu-"

"Forcing asexuals to identify with a label they don't see themselves as is, quite frankly, ridicu-" A sneer appeared on Jefferson's face as he talked right over Hamilton. Burr glared at the cornflower coloured classroom walls with a pained expression, hoping this mess would end if he stared hard enough. Everyone had expressions from exasperated to engaged with the best fight since Jefferson had left on an exchange program. 

"Just because you don't want to see yourself as straight doesn't make you any less straight."

"But I'm asexual."

"Yes, and you're attracted to women romantically, so you're fucking straight. You aren't LGBT so you can't use slurs directed at actually LGBT people. What, would you be holding hands with your girlfriend and hear someone yell 'queer' at you down the street? Of course you wouldn't. But me and John, however," Hamilton quickly paused to blow a kiss to Laurens, just to piss Jefferson off more, and continued on by saying "would totally face. It is derogatory and you have no right to say it."

Hurrying for a response, Jefferson stuttered out "But... asexuals face oppression too!" 

"No they don't, they face prejudice, which is very different. Asexuals don't have laws against them or systematic bias. Besides, even if they did, it wouldn't be an automatic invite to be part of a community historically they aren't a part of. Women and people of color are marginalised but they can't be LGBT for that alone!" 

"This is why I hate you gross allosexuals."

"Wait!" the excitement in Hamilton's voice could be heard as he prepared his next rant. "Are you silencing me, an "allosexual", because I feel sexual attraction? Have you ever considered that being attracted to people, as a bisexual, is something I am shamed for by homophobes and biphobes? You're shaming me for this too, acting like its a bad thing for me to be an "allosexual". Do you know how homophobic that is? Hating me for wanting to have sex with people of the same gender. Really original, Jefferson. You're just as homophobic as the people picketing with GOD HATES FAGS signs." 

Silence filled the room, as everyone realised how thoroughly Jefferson had been owned. Laurens oooooh-ed and Lafayette whistled, celebrating the fact Jefferson had in fact shut up. Burr, who was beginning to sweat due to the presence of conflict, attempted to regain control of the room. "Well... this is the gay straight alliance, so regardless of who is right in this situation you can still attend this club." Silence overtook the room again as Burr quietly lamented he may have accidentally revealed something akin to a belief while everyone else glared at Jefferson in an attempt to get him to flee. Angelica was the most terrifying, locking eyes with the beast that was Jefferson and nearly growling. 

Jefferson improvised a way to diffuse the tension by saying "Also I brought mac and cheese." Sighs and groans filled the room. He grabbed his backpack and unzipped it, revealing a pan full of oven baked and like 10 uncooked boxes of Kraft. It was repulsive yet intriguing, as you could only wonder how humanity could come so far just to steep so low a person like Thomas Jefferson was created. 

Walking over to take the pan from Jefferson, Hamilton proceeded to slowly claim it and dump it on Jefferson's feet. "We don't want your mac and cheese, its just as disgusting as you" Hamilton whispered. A chorus of ohhhs resonated throughout the Lafayette/Laurens/Mulligan group as the Schuylers giggled and Burr rubbed his temples red. Hamilton pulled Laurens in for a massive make-out PDA display because it has to get gay at some point. Jefferson began yelling about filthy allosexuals and Angelica rudely showed him the exit. Everything was right in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I was tired of people have been using the Hamilton cast as mouthpieces for discourse so I decided to make this! Whoops. I just needed to simulate the pain I feel every time I try to find a good Hamilton thing and I get asexual Laurens with a side of terrible discourse. I'm open to any criticism about my writing or my opinions, so feel free to talk to me in the comments. Edit: If you publish a lengthy, more nuanced comment please be aware it may take me longer to respond as I'm only human and not a discourse machine. If I miss a comment because its under a long thread I apologise!


End file.
